Glen Strachan is a raging belljester, currently fronting new band Cruises to the Holy Land based in Cyprus.









20/02/17
I'm not gonna go into detail about my time in Berlin because I've a soulmate or two here whose privacy I respect & let's leave it at that. Berlin has changed, and Berlin will never change, and though I've been somewhat in mourning since I hit Italy, I'm opening up again now & facing the future in fine form. Thanks for being there, old friend x


18/02/17
Berlin. In a place that Joe G christened the Proverbial Nan's House, a term which made it's way into his fabulous fiction, I used to call it El Schmucko's. Ed Brown & I used to come here to write together, separately, in our creative little worlds, the likes of which beautified Berlin in their oft-isolated, ever-interacting corresponding dances of diversity. When I was totally broke I'd get a coffee here & sit all day writing, one time the guy tried to charge me for electricity by way of protesting my overuse of the establishment - I threw my money at him (including tip) and made a personal vow to never return. I had brought much custom through those doors. But life is long.

Gaze into the mirror,
Repeat after me -
"Hello everybody
The bell tolls for thee"


17/02/17
Last night was fucking fun. Grabbed an Augustina & did what I do best - roamed alone. Covered a lot of ground, met the prettiest girl in the world, naturally, we spoke for hours, who might doubt it, but I fucked up by telling her about my day today, and the reason I went to Munchberg.. it's not the kindof story that's gonna ring pretty to a bright, young mathematician from South Germany. Oh well it was fun before the fall.


16/02/17
Wow, I wasn't expecting such an emotional response from being here in Munich. I've only ever stayed here once, by unfortunate accident, when I lost my bag with almost 2 years of writing, a lot of musical equipment & my passport all those years ago, which left us stranded and as a result had to cancel the rest of the tour in Netherlands. I'm staying at the hostel whose occupants I flashed from our hotel opposite. I've looked at this street from both sides now.

Heart is thumping & I've no idea why. Room 201, bed 6, makes 207.


16/02/17
I am fucking shattered, better get on this 6 hour long train-ride to Munchberg. I'll tell you why I'm headed there in a later update. Come on you serpentine slag I got Germans to meet, greet & fall out with. Feeling just about alright today, somehow. Some wonderfully naive kids helped me find my sloshy way back to my hotel last night, boy was I hammered & I had no idea what the hotel was called or anything, thank goodness I disobeyed orders & snuck the key out of the place instead of leaving it at reception "for my own security" as they insisted. They reckoned not for Smashed Strachan.

Where have I been all my life. Kuftsein, where E & I had one of the happiest days of our life together. I would still very much like to record the Richard Pierre video here in Walchsee, in which I wake up in a business suit, take a bike to the lake, shed items of clothing as I go, take a boat to the center of the lake & dive in naked. An overall image of rebirth that's once again relevant in my long, long life.

What am I doing here?! Wellnow, you never know what you might find, or where it might be found. Oh stars.


15/02/17
Venice is such a friendly place. Been in this bar 20mins, within 10 seconds I got talking to a film-maker & a poet, left them to it, respectfully, to write here in the corner & immediately this crazy guy comes bounding over, grabs my pen & starts drawing me in a whirl of passion like a cross between Doc Brown & Van Gogh. Turns out he's a Doctor or Professor of art in Rome, hugely pissed up & gesturing at the moon, it's been a long time since I've encountered such a fellow. He just stared into my eyes & scrawled "Sei Unico Nel Caos" - "You are unique in chaos" - across the page, he says if I ever come to Italy again I should call him & I'll have everything I could need. Life is never dull for such as you & I my love.

We're all blind in the face of beauty. Blind in the face of beauty? Yes, for we avert our eyes. We turn away because a spoonful weighs a ton. There are so many real artists in this town, I can see it in their gestures, old fools. And of course it makes all the sense, who could fail to be attracted to a city that's slowly sinking? If the waters are rising globally, I wanna be the first to see the submerged steeples. The angels, meanwhile, stay silent; observant; pristine.


15/02/17
The barlady saw me coveting a banana they have for use with cocktails, she said it wasn't for sale, but just now she smuggled it over to me, tapped me on the shoulder, whispered 'shhh' in my ear & snuck it onto my table. What is it about this theme of smuggling bananas that threads it's way through my days? I can envision Joe G screaming "HAND OVER THE BANANAS!" while Jet Tea beats me with a hotel cushion in New York '09 as i eat this with the bar manager scowling at me from the shadows.

I'm getting some right funny looks from that right funny world outside. Carnival innit, lots of masks. Aww little fluffy doggywoggy, lost & confused, woof woof woggywoggy I'll love you.

Feel I've more in common with the pigeons here than the people, can 100% understand how poor Tesla might have felt towards the end of his thankless life. OK 60%, maybe 65% if it's a real pretty pigeon.


15/02/17
Was woken outrageously at 8am by a man in my hotel room in Venice - set my pulse racing for the entire morning - some clerical error with the staff it seems - but at least it allowed me the chance to catch breakfast, an opportunity I grabbed with a coffee in one hand, a chocolate croissant in the other & a leviathan in my heart.

This is another place I could stay indefinitely. No cars. No cars! It's enough to make a solitary creature project flashbacks of Eden onto winter waters & up the fractured walls. I've not the courage to move closer to another soul, though my confidence remains intact somehow. What a gift it is to know one's worth, perhaps it is this that keeps me from becoming the slut that many perceive me to be. A true lover of touch discriminates as does the lover of art.

Found a cosy cafe where the coffee is only a euro & not the extortionate standard 3 or 4 fare here, so might stay here the rest of my life. Cafe Noir, how appropriate. Tears came when I turned a corner and saw the steps upon which E & I sang love songs to other happy couples, with much success all those years ago, and I paused to drink from the past for a honeysuckle second or two, but now when I pass the same way it has already reformulated in my mind to it's undistinguished place in the present. I use it to assist navigation & nothing more.


14/02/17
Milan always leaves me cold, might keep rolling. Just realised the irony of going to Verona on a day like this, let alone Venice. May as well take a valentines selfie at Juliet's balcony at this rate. I've 'seen' very little of these places I've chosen to stop off in. What can a hilltop city view or statue offer me at a time like this?

I am ashamed: does not the stone rebuke me
For being more stone than it?


There's a train to Schio from here in Vicenza, brings back fond memories. I really was happy walking around this town with my monkeyfriend, and remember the streets in detail for some reason. There was a beautiful park we didn't have time to explore, and said we'd come back some day. The light was heavenly.

My mother reminded me of a promise I made to her & my dad before he died, that I would continue to the family line & name, but you really are out on your own now Strachan. Rolling into town now, like a shadow. Still got a fuckton more fight in me than the kids in the hostel last night though, all sat about in the kitchen on their phones while I tore up the Marseilles punk scene, and I surprised myself by looking fine in the bathroom mirror in Milan not 3 hours ago. Up you get Soldier, your favourite place awaits you alone.


14/02/17
Left the information staff somewhat bewildered, saw something that looked like Cannes on a board - that's East from here I think - leapt aboard & boy is it slow. Got my book out & found that box of Algerian Dates, placed it on the seat & it's starting to freak everyone out - the hastily taped up package covered in Arabic text. Oops. Am I about to blow us all up with my utter idiocy?

I have no idea where this train is going, only that it's going to take forever to get there, how perfect. Still dark out. Happy Valentines Day luvvies x


14/02/17
Valentines Day. Cunted myself awake at 4am to race to the station with godawful French directions, now been trying to find a train that's going EAST, but of course real people don't think like that. "But where are you going?" the fools persist with their collective geographical knowledge. It has always been a problem for me this, people who can't think outside the box for a moment & think I'm the idiot for it. Wanted to grab them by the collar & scream "JUST TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE" - preferably pointing in a somewhat Easterly direction. Bastards.


13/02/17
I'm blessed in my anonymity here, and everywhere else. Yes, it's awkward at times, but God knows if anyone can do this, it's me with a Jupiler, but Jesus. Guy selling roses, tempted to buy one for myself, just lay it on the table between Goethe & Pilkington. Lol, what kinda Hydra am I.


13/02/17
Well I've found the best bar in Marseilles straight off the bat, utter gayness but all the more delicious for it. It's something like an early evening Roses in Berlin, I'd take a snap for you but it's got that no phone no wifi vibe. A guy in the hostel room was like "Hello, I am from Algeria, have this, take.." and handed me a box of what appears to be Algerian Dates wrapped up in sellotape. I've a desperate premium on space in my bag and tried to insist I was not worthy, Lord knows I'm not & pray never to be. Wish I'd brought them out to give to the homeless people here.


13/02/17
Traaaaiiiiinn. Giggling out loud reading this fuckin' Karl Pilkington book I nabbed at the UK border. "Whenever I used to see a story in the local paper about a missing person I'd wonder if it was someone I gave directions to."


13/02/17
Dear god that was embarrassing, just tried to get out of paying for breakfast (I thought it was included) by saying "I only had like 2 pieces of bread anyway" and got away with it, only to open my bag to pay the hotel tax, inadvertently revealing the boiled eggs, cheese and Nutella sachets I nabbed from the breakfast buffet. Could have died. Ok seeya later Montpellier, amazing town I love yooou x


12/02/17
Death itself cannot touch betrayal for bleakness. Love survives death, the silent worms inherit silent sins of the flesh.


12/02/17
Massive impromptu singalong of mid 90s pop classics at the Black Sheep. Walked in to find the whole packed bar singing Kiss From A Rose at the top of their lungs, followed by Back For Good by Take That. Couldn't make this shit up, the whole place is wailing along with my heart, though I remain a silent stranger observing from the corner. Would be hilarious if not so tragic. Wish this corner was a little darker, got a spotlight on me here. "That's me in the corner.." I hope this bar never closes, a good thing we came along. Also, for you. Fate, then. Yours or ours? Could hardly be one without the other.

Some girl just took a minute from making out prettily with some other fool to proper check me out, confused us both. She's coming over.. A storm brews in a reliable teapot, he thought he was home free. Do I sympathise? Third party getting involved now, helping them patch it up.

Dear god it's Killing Me Softly, the Fugees version, fuckin' barman is on deck with the "One Time!", he's like a goddam conductor standing up there on the bar waving his arms around. Earth song by Michael Jackson now, the other bartender is up with him, they're miming the bassline and getting it spot on. "What about elephants?"

You Are Not Alone by M.J. to end the evening. I'm actually gonna cry.


12/02/17
The band was incredible last night, fab venue too, Pord at the Black Sheep. Hardly eaten all month & been proper caning it so feeling pretty wobbly today.

The girl I fell for the other day found me on Facebook but has decided to stay with her boyfriend rather than throw it away for a night with me, which is hardly surprising & I respect her all the more for it. There will be a time to share & you'll need to be sure you still can.


11/02/17
Wow that tastes good. 5 to 8 but got a beer, it's close enough. It's after around the 2 hour mark of sitting alone in a bar that the comfort seeps in & things start to get interesting psychologically. It becomes apparent 'so this is my life, this is where all my battles, sacrifice & small victories have led me'

"All good dreamers pass this way someday."

Going to see a Noise Rock band play at the Black Sheep now.


11/02/17
Been pretty nuts. Met a girl at an insane house party in a lush mansion last night, I can't remember her name and we only kissed for a few seconds when the lights went out because her boyfriend was there.. girls huh. I love this town. Haven't even started my rail journey yet but could happily stay here forever. It's a different life I live now. Some guys tried to mug me last night, my old 207 trick of always carrying a bottle (not a can) saved me, I had to proper lash out.

Being alone like this is some barbed joy, I'm like a broken toy. I'll wait another 20mins until 8pm to have my first beer, only woke up an hour ago.

Reading Goethe
Feeling fertile
Wet Montpellier.


10/02/17
Rather enjoying myself. Nowhere to sleep, alone on the beers, tiny bag full of dirty clothes and a Karl Pilkington novella called More Moaning. "The Rebuffy Pub is your international meeting place for cultural exchanges"!! So it says on the menu. Great place to take a shit 5 Stars.

Some French cunt just recommended I go find Villa Rouge, then had a go at my shoes n'said I'd never get in, all in the same breath. Cheers mate useful stuff mind if I take notes. Well here's a love rival if I ever saw one "I used to be a writer but now I'm too happy. I have to go, my son is crying." Wow.


10/02/17
Well that was bound to happen at some point.. Fell out proper with the singer of the shitty band I'm hitching a ride with, so I'm on my own from here. Went roaming that night they left me in the van and got into a fight, then couldn't find my way back to the street we parked on, so just drank more until I woke up in the van few hours later. I've been getting on great with And, the driver who got me this gig in the first place, and it would have been nice to make it to Spain, but I've made friends here in Montpellier and feel like kicking around this town for the weekend, to head on my Westward journey from Monday.


08/02/17
Rolling into Paris now. I talk shit about this town, as a rule, but every time I arrive here afresh I go "Woo Paris!", trusting that I must have been a little too harsh in the past, but by bollocks it always turns out to be buggering ugly. Found a cafe, the regular affair, could swear I've been here before, in that exact seat some French cunt just stole off me. The question is "Could this place BE any more French" and the answer, of course, is "No, it could not."

We loaded the venue, tons of shit down slippery stone stairs, got no thanks there. I might need a place to sleep tonight, kindof forgot about that detail. Right, I'm on the 2 Euro Vino Destructo, it's all downhill and round the corner from here.

Lol well the band hate me and they all have a swanky pad to crash over at, but they're concerned - bless their collection of squashed bollocks - about the security of their equipment in the night with all the shit in the van, so bugger me if I'm not the allocated guard dog on duty here. Gives me a place to sleep at least.


08/02/17
So I totally fucked up my potential last night of sleep for a month with a completely unneccessary late one in Camden, again, but made the mad 4am dash accross London to Stratford to jump into this ungodly tour bus with a band I don`t know, destination Madrid via Paris. Told them I just wanna hang for the cross-channel crossing but hoping to leech a little longer to get down Bar Bacharach where the weather's warmer. Just wanna sit in Bigott's local in Zaragoza and see what's happening.

Enlightened geezer in this band here chatting about how much reading he's gonna do on this trip - he's tucking into a Bruce Springsteen biography as we speak, LOL. Very Spinal Tap this whole affair; ridiculous haircuts; skinny jeans that are painful to behold; cliche rock n roll opinions masquerading as liberalism.It's just as well nobody reads this shit.

Christ this band hates me, I'll be asked to walk the plank before we reach France at this rate.


07/02/17
It has been ALL change here in my increasingly little world, but rest assured there is some good work on the way. Anna Yu Takes Her Casio To The Park is my latest song, truly solo acoustic in a very traditional style, but I love it all the more for that. Currently in London, and clearing my head from those with whom I no longer share a common madness, but heading back to Athens on the rickety railroads to move into a new apartment & criss cross back to Straw Port to record, once I've all the tunes demo'd & rehearsed. Will be visiting open mics between Paris & Belgrade to try out new material, and writing in the gaps between. Found a drummer to work with, and finally got some students in Pegeia too, so I'll be back for those & to complete my Greek lessons before relocating permanently in the Summer.

William hits Limassol town early March, so expect some live videos & new tunes from that fine gent.


29/01/17
19th Century - The death of God
20th Century - The death of Man
21st Century - The death of Art


20/01/17
And then there was Dogtooth..! I recommend just going straight for the movie & skipping the trailer here, but if you need convincing..




18/01/17
It's Greek Movie Season here at Straw Port. Kicked off with Attenberg, but you know I don't do reviews so just watch it watch it!



Sitting on the balcony in my hedgehog slippers, waiting for the kettle to boil. Heading London Feb 1st, and have to make a decision either to fly back here directly or have another little trans-european adventure, adopting the nonsense methods of a lifetime to get by. Maybe I'll do it sober & in sensible clothes this time.



Previous