Sun 10th July 2011 Message: Fancy catching a quick Sunday drink down the lane? Add Recipient: Crack Whore It's always awkward saving somebody's number in your phone when you've forgotten their name. No reply as yet. |
Sun 10th July 2011 Well, that was a night of oversights & no mistake! Having turned the wine into air I popped by to see those two girls on the way, which was in itself farcical as I always forget the number of the bell to ring, and don't get phone reception in that area, so had to climb over some bins & a wall & find a back entrance while being heckled by chavs, anyway, few glasses of wine there & then to Harrow for this bar work thing for 40 quid. Only then did I consider that, finishing work at 3:30am after the last train, I would have no way of getting home shy of a 40 quid cab ride back the way I'd come. I'd be working the whole night for sweet fuck all. I decided that my standard Pull or Die survival technique was the only option, once again fully neglecting the fact that I would be almost completely sober & any girl who might consider taking me home would most likely be smashed as a cunt. Which is exactly what happened. In fact, somewhat comically, I was the only sober person in a room surrounded by dancing drunken maniacs - the irony didn't escape me, far from it, the irony kicked me deep in the teeth. I was constantly weaving in and out of revelers, collecting empty glasses from tables etc, and had to refrain from engaging with the many writhing bodies nestling in on my comfort zones.. which is usually quite a comfortable place for them to be under such circumstances. I got through the night nicking Red Bulls & Tomato Juice, and thought I'd managed to retain my moral dignity until I was asked to go check out the toilets to make sure nobody was still there. Men's room - nobody. Ladies - chock full of girls, and no sooner had I opened the door than one of them lurched at me & started kissing me in the doorway. As a by-note; don't worry, I'm going to refrain from sharing such personal information from tomorrow. Just felt like it this week. So.. I slowly (very slowly) detached myself from the kiss & said I was working & that she & the other girls would have to leave. She beckoned me to go with her, but morals kicked in & I declined; Pull or Die doesn't quite work when yer (relatively) sober, it then becomes something quite sinister & I'm not ready to go down that road quite yet. Anyway, there was a mention from my boss of 'kissing on the job' which probably won't help me to more work at Trinity in the future, but yeah, ended up getting a cab someplace closer than home in the end & finally got back here an hour ago. Twenty quid up, twenty hours down & not quite morally bankrupt yet. |
Sat 9th July 2011 So I'm nursing England's loss, getting ready to leave, knocking back the last drops of alcohol in my possession, wondering how I'm gonna get by on thruppence, and I get the offer of some emergency barwork at Trinity in Harrow - the only place other than the Treaty that I've ever vowed never to return to again. Apart from that place in New York which I threatened to burn to the ground. And the place under St. Marks Square. And probably some others. So.. at least I'm less likely to find myself in an awkward situation later. Or am I, really. |
Sat 9th July 2011 Wow, great game; France the more skilful side but a very gritty, three lions performance from England.. 1-1 and now penalties huh. Let's see what happens. I can barely watch. I love it that some of them are wearing nail varnish to go with the kit. I know I would. Shitman we lost. And we're out. If you know me, then you might imagine who was in the back of my mind watching the French women play football, and will wonders never cease, that very person popped up on Skype for the first time in months during the match with no knowledge herself of the game. "Slur myself to sleep outside your door" |
Sat 9th July 2011 There's a fabulous free live session from Laura Stevenson & The Cans on Daytrotter.com, fuckin' highly recommended. Watching England vs. France in the women's world cup. Haven't seen a single soul in daysss, and am expected to go out tonight, with no money, to spend time with a current complication & an old, old crush who I haven't seen in ten years. I'm not complaining, of course I'm intrigued to see how it turns out, just gonna down this solitary bottle of red & head out into the world again. |
Fri 8th July 2011 Is it weird that, having mentioned Suzanne Vega's Close-Up Volumes yesterday, I've just now been informed that the third in the series is being released on Monday? These coincidences of late are making me feel crazy, and therefore it's quite fitting that Suzanne refers to this forthcoming collection as her 'Mental Health' songs. That's a link in more ways than one. Great website. Can't wait. |
Fri 8th July 2011 Do forgive me if I'm stating the bleeding obvious here, as I've been outta the loop f'time, but Nick Cave & Neko Case did a song together? And nobody thought to tell me about it, so I'm telling you in case those people didn't tell you either. And it's really good, a Zombies cover, seek it out if you like that sortof thing. Hmm, that word Zombies has been cropping up a lot recently. One problem with having multiple lives in different cities is that it takes a certain amount of time to adjust & acclimatise to each. And when I'm only spending a month or so in each place, that amounts to a lot of disoriented days. An hour flight is all that stood between dancing obliterated from every dusk to each mid-day, and this insulated calmness of almost-home, which is dizzying by comparison. I can hear every tap of the keys as I type, I'm aware of each twinge in my body where toll has been taken. But somehow I have to get back to New York to appear in court on 17th Aug, or i may risk not getting into the country again in the future. It's surely impossible - I'm broke & I'm exhausted, and my heart is still in Berlin, burried by Eberswalder Baguettes, in the snow. There's not been much magic since those days, and certainly I know what took it from me. I'm starting to think that romance & love are on opposite sides of the spectrum, and only exist together in shitty films that make you sad 'cos it just reminds you how that's not the world we live in. I feel like a Level-32 Bakerwizard who chased a Midnight Goblin Thief that stole a standard Soothsaying Ecto-Sandwich, and returned to find my Enchanted Bakery burnt to the ground by my own too-human negligence. Gonna start from scratch, but for that I need some dough.. hoho. At least we can be quite sure that, one day, this adventure will all end with a final fresh start. Unless those Zombies get the ball rolling again. |
Thu 7th July 2011 "The crow may bathe his coal black wings in mire And unperceiv'd fly with the filth away; But if the like the snow-white swan desire, The stain upon his silver down will stay." |
Thu 7th July 2011 Goodbye, Berlin, for now. And hello this world. Life swap, welcome. Anyone wanna be me for a spell? We can exchange to-do lists & facebook passwords. That's about all I got to offer at the moment, lifewise, as I'm fuckin' broke in all three corners. Somewhat cynically, perhaps, I previously believed the Close-Up Volumes by Suzanne Vega were simply Best Of's, you know, but they're actually completely re-recorded, stripped down versions of some of her best songs. Fucking amazing. Why don't more artists do that? Days of definitive recordings are numbered. |